PLEASE Help Me Chose the Ugliest Work of Art at the Miami Art Fair!
December 3, 2011

This is pretty ugly stuff, Aaron Curry at Werner, funny, I kinda like it!

This is pretty ugly stuff, Aaron Curry at Werner, funny, I kinda like it!

Eugene Leroy, he died 11 years ago, this is good and ugly, I’ll take it over the Curry – perhaps.

Eugene Leroy, he died 11 years ago, this is good and ugly, I’ll take it over the Curry – perhaps.

Here’s an ugly Baselitz from the early 90s, we’re getting warm.

Here’s an ugly Baselitz from the early 90s, we’re getting warm.

Ugly Richard Prince <em>De Kooning</em>? Not ugly enough, but I like the way the girl’s head fits into the picture, at Richard Gray gallery and apparently a pretty good deal.

Ugly Richard Prince De Kooning? Not ugly enough, but I like the way the girl’s head fits into the picture, at Richard Gray gallery and apparently a pretty good deal.

Yeah, baby! Riopelle at Acquavella, that’s gettin’ GNARLY, YESSSSSSSSS

Yeah, baby! Riopelle at Acquavella, that’s gettin’ GNARLY, YESSSSSSSSS

A late Soulages, this ranks, my friend… he’s in his 90s and still kickin’ A.

A late Soulages, this ranks, my friend… he’s in his 90s and still kickin’ A.

A Joel Shapiro thingie, that’s crude, and looks like a much younger and fresher artist. Joel, I’m feeling a stir here! I like it!

A Joel Shapiro thingie, that’s crude, and looks like a much younger and fresher artist. Joel, I’m feeling a stir here! I like it!

This is a new guy Javier Peres is showing in Berlin and Almine Rech had in Miami. Colorfield meets Memphis, yes! That qualifies, I need sunglasses for this.

This is a new guy Javier Peres is showing in Berlin and Almine Rech had in Miami. Colorfield meets Memphis, yes! That qualifies, I need sunglasses for this.

Wow, Marianne Boesky’s ceramic installation was SOOO ugly, I even bought one! Yeah!

Wow, Marianne Boesky’s ceramic installation was SOOO ugly, I even bought one! Yeah!

This looks like a loose stool (fecal matter) with legs – that’s way too ugly for even me!

This looks like a loose stool (fecal matter) with legs – that’s way too ugly for even me!

This isn’t ugly, just kinda dumb, like a disco Pistoletto, makes a cool picture. See the dealer Tim Neuger in there too.

This isn’t ugly, just kinda dumb, like a disco Pistoletto, makes a cool picture. See the dealer Tim Neuger in there too.

This Pawel Althamer at Neugerriemschneider was really nice! It’s beautiful, forget it, you lose!

This Pawel Althamer at Neugerriemschneider was really nice! It’s beautiful, forget it, you lose!

Oh yeah, Nick Cave suits, would look good on Star Trek…. Evasive maneuvers, Scotty… warp factor 8!

Oh yeah, Nick Cave suits, would look good on Star Trek…. Evasive maneuvers, Scotty… warp factor 8!

This is Quaytman, this may be good, so you lose.

This is Quaytman, this may be good, so you lose.

Here’s a William Copley mirror with a man and woman, Jeff Koons ripoff!! Oops, you say Copley did it first? And that’s why Paul Kasmin is smiling, he knows.

Here’s a William Copley mirror with a man and woman, Jeff Koons ripoff!! Oops, you say Copley did it first? And that’s why Paul Kasmin is smiling, he knows.

This is a gold artist the Rubells were also showing, I’ll take Arman anyday!

This is a gold artist the Rubells were also showing, I’ll take Arman anyday!

Haim Steinbach at Tanya Bonakdar gallery? You nailed it on this one, bravo!!! Sorry, you’re OUT.

Haim Steinbach at Tanya Bonakdar gallery? You nailed it on this one, bravo!!! Sorry, you’re OUT.

This is Matthew Monahan’s girlfriend showing at Anton Kern gallery, this is rude. It’s growing on me, someone must buy this!

This is Matthew Monahan’s girlfriend showing at Anton Kern gallery, this is rude. It’s growing on me, someone must buy this!

Gelitin at Perrotin, this is TERRIBLE, it could be a WINNER!

Gelitin at Perrotin, this is TERRIBLE, it could be a WINNER!

Oh yes, Murakami can do ugly, but it’s cuddly too, so — you, panda and baby, are OUT.

Oh yes, Murakami can do ugly, but it’s cuddly too, so — you, panda and baby, are OUT.

Rob Pruitt at Gavin Brown’s gallery can get ugly, and there’s a real person inside!! He is a contender….

Rob Pruitt at Gavin Brown’s gallery can get ugly, and there’s a real person inside!! He is a contender….

This is Hans Josephsohn at Gavin Brown’s, he’s old, he’s Swiss, this is ugly!!! We may have a winner!

This is Hans Josephsohn at Gavin Brown’s, he’s old, he’s Swiss, this is ugly!!! We may have a winner!

Oops, Paul McCarthy made Ivan Wirth’s booth pretty ugly, but color’s an issue, too candy pretty to win.

Oops, Paul McCarthy made Ivan Wirth’s booth pretty ugly, but color’s an issue, too candy pretty to win.

OMG, that is ugly! I’m just thankful I won’t have to look at it ever again.

OMG, that is ugly! I’m just thankful I won’t have to look at it ever again.

Richard Jackson makes peeing dogs, when mine do that I get really pissed.

Richard Jackson makes peeing dogs, when mine do that I get really pissed.

John Armleder was Reyle before we had Reyle, not ugly enough, though.

John Armleder was Reyle before we had Reyle, not ugly enough, though.

Wow, Tom Friedman sculpture at Luhring Augustine, you’re gonna WIN!!

Wow, Tom Friedman sculpture at Luhring Augustine, you’re gonna WIN!!

Steven Shearer picture, it’s too smart to be really ugly.

Steven Shearer picture, it’s too smart to be really ugly.

This is a 30s Picasso in Gagosian’s booth- it’s bad-good, I really love it, but that’s a different category.

This is a 30s Picasso in Gagosian’s booth- it’s bad-good, I really love it, but that’s a different category.

Zeng Fanzhi at Gagosian… too pretty!

Zeng Fanzhi at Gagosian… too pretty!

OH, YES! Betty Tompkins at Galerie Janssen, are we repulsed or do you want to crawl back inside? It’s too warm and fuzzy, perhaps?

OH, YES! Betty Tompkins at Galerie Janssen, are we repulsed or do you want to crawl back inside? It’s too warm and fuzzy, perhaps?

Anselm Reyle can compete, don’t count him out.

Anselm Reyle can compete, don’t count him out.

No way, I coulda done that.

No way, I coulda done that.

Edward Nahem shows a big Stella, a beauty of another era, can’t win.

Edward Nahem shows a big Stella, a beauty of another era, can’t win.

Hey, Scott Rothkopf, you’re not even paying attention, stop texting please!

Hey, Scott Rothkopf, you’re not even paying attention, stop texting please!

Bob Colacello and Donna di Salvo in Warhol heaven at L&M.

Bob Colacello and Donna di Salvo in Warhol heaven at L&M.

William Copley is gone but not yet forgotten.

William Copley is gone but not yet forgotten.

And the winner is >>>>>>>???   JOSEPHSOHN, those big bronzes rock!!!!

And the winner is >>>>>>>??? JOSEPHSOHN, those big bronzes rock!!!!

Well, contrary to what Artforum’s conservative, boring and politically-correct bloggers blabber, some dealers still like me! So, Emmanuel Perrotin and I ride off into the Gelitin sunset.

Well, contrary to what Artforum’s conservative, boring and politically-correct bloggers blabber, some dealers still like me! So, Emmanuel Perrotin and I ride off into the Gelitin sunset.

Hey, another one likes me! And this might be love!

Hey, another one likes me! And this might be love!